Log in


Oct. 4th, 2009 | 01:30 am

i'm a friend. i can live with that. or maybe i can't. you'll always be there at the back of my mind. i fucking love you with everything i have.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

(no subject)

Apr. 28th, 2009 | 04:11 am

General asshats
Circle I Limbo

The New York Yankees
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

NAMBLA Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

PETA Members
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Circle VII Burning Sands

DMV Employees
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, greeks
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Link | Leave a comment | Share

and i realize...

Mar. 12th, 2009 | 01:37 am
mood: blank blank

jason mraz and john mayer are essentially the same person in my mind...

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Writer's Block: Robotic

Jan. 25th, 2009 | 02:21 pm

Who (or what) is your favorite fictional robot?
channel frederator (sp?) bot

Link | Leave a comment | Share

oh my

Dec. 4th, 2008 | 02:57 am
mood: cold cold
music: MUSE

so how i really really feel about this...
when we first broke up i really really honestly did think we could use our alone time to get to know each other just a tad better, then you started dating her. so i figured hey if you can move on why shouldn't i. at that point i figured there was really no point in talking to you so any conversation efforts made then where half hearted (most of my conversation attempts are half-hearted meaning you only got a quarter.). then the conversations started getting weird. the first time it happen i thought hey why not humor you, youre a nice kid. the second time it got pretty intense. i honestly didnt want to deal with it. i dont care how much of a bitch it made me but seriously i didnt want to talk. -btw when you have your caps lock on shift makes the letters smaller-
so there was that stuff that happened over break...it only happened cause i missed you...and it...and you doing it with me._. now that i think of it i think i missed the action more than the person doing it ._. im bad company. keep your kids away.
and now that want me back i feel kinda bad because im in the same place i was when you first asked me out. youre just that awesome guy who humored a bunch of random black girls who had nothing better to do after work, who buys me stuff now. but i feel terrible because ive been in your shoes before. it's like youve come developed a case of tunnel vision and at the end is that one person you seem to find yourself thinking about whenever your mind takes a break. but the sad thing is that person feels nowhere near the same.
now were here today. in some sort of trial friendship in an attempt to get to know each other just a little bit more. but you're so committed to this. it bothers me occasionally cause all the things that bothered me when we were together have began to rear their ugly heads. there are the phone calls and conversations everyday that go nowhere at all.  you ask me how school is going i say good. you ask how are things i say good. and thats it there's not much else. then there's the assumption that when ever i hint at or use  vulgar language then im just so mad that my anger cant be contained and you end up in the line of fire. and yes i do admire your approach that you want to be "adult" about this but honestly it kinda damages this whole "friend" thing we have. somehow, i can't necessarily explain it. but this also makes me wonder, are we going to have another one of those day where i dont want to talk but you keep me talking after i tell you several times i dont want to talk because there has to be something wrong with our sweet and precious karla and we wont stop till we get her back. that kinda irked my nerves because it showed me that with you (and my mother) i just can't be in a certain mood without a cause. and no just to let you know it wasn't my period or my hormone screwing with me. no i wasn't mad  or depressed...i just kinda didn't feel like talking. end of story.
conversation was the main reason i thought we really needed this break cause i stop trusting myself with talking to you. you weren't exactly familiar with my style of talking  and the stuff i talk about. you read to deep into things. if i tell you nothings wrong, it probably means nothings wrong because thats what im thinking -nothings wrong. "nothing" isn't part of some kind of cryptic woman language that means "every little thing that happened today" ( at least in my case it doesn't). EVERYTHING I SAY SHOULD BE TAKEN AT FACE VALUE. CHANCES ARE YOURE HEARING IT THE SAME WAY IM THINKING IT. that's all you need to understand. its those assumptions that get you in trouble.  at first i felt bad knowing that almost everything i said offended you in some way.  but after a while it got old and i was tired of the crap and stopped caring.
sometimes you just dont understand my humor. that won't work out too well.
then theres the whole thing of us being on different levels. now that all we have is talk we at least need to be somewhere close on the same level. i dont want to have to explain every other statement i utter just so you grasp what im talking about. that kinda puts me off cause if i lead the conversation i know im going to have to explain things more than i want to. it get tedious and annoying. really fast.
i dont emote. not much. i have my girly moments from time to time. but for the most part i try to be stoic. i like indifference. its stability i can rely on. so the freaking out over me not saying ily at the end of every conversation. NO BIG DEAL. you'll receive an update when the status changes. until then i need you to assume everythings honkey dorey like it used to be.
but now im not so sure of it all anymore. i actually told someone that i honestly dont see myself being as happy as i could be when if i were with you.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Writer's Block: Lame jobs

May. 24th, 2008 | 03:10 am

What's the worst job you've ever had?
 ive only had one and its the one i have now so i guess that's my answer

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Writer's Block: It's Too Late to Apologize

May. 7th, 2008 | 11:18 pm

Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?
 i touched tim's cup and it turns out hes a bit of a germophobe and i felt bad he had to throw away his drink and make a new one

Link | Leave a comment | Share

hurray for cussing

Apr. 30th, 2008 | 12:08 am
mood: bitchy bitchy

i am willing to forget about everything that has happened today if something gets done about what happened tonight.
now tell me this why is that the one with the vigina is proving she has has more balls than the nigger who started this shit?
why is it the nigger is trying to come off as some thug saying "don't know who you messing with." and "I might as well hit you now" when he ain't do shit?
why is it that this nigger is going to say shit in front of the girl's friends even though we're trying to keep this from exploding in anyone's face?
i few words for you my dear
. a real man would never even think about laying a hand on "a stupid white bitch"
. if someone with a vagina is a bigger man than you are you deserve nothing that comes with the title
. you had plenty of opprotunities (and i mean pleanty) to hit her. in fact she invited you several times. even moved closer to you so wouldn't have to do that much work.
. if you're gonna take the time to call up your goons - make sure they'll come up here to actually fight and not just to say they are.
. if the "stupid bitch's" friends aren't mad at you and are holding her back you better be damn thankful and keep your mother fucking mouth shut before you dig yourself any deeper.
. all talk no action says a hell of a lot more than all that bullshit coming out of your mouth

all in all my dear if you're going to claim any street cred for being the thug you think you are, it might work if you actually do something and not just say it. 

Link | Leave a comment | Share

exceedingly happy

Apr. 26th, 2008 | 11:25 pm

for the last few days people at work keep asking me why i was so happy. honestly i'm not sure why.
ash blamed it on john and prom.
prom was awesome by the way.couldn't stop smiling. gee i wonder why? but then i also realized how short i was.
but that was two weeks ago.
._.why with the happy?????

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Writer's Block: Family Matters

Apr. 7th, 2008 | 12:29 am

What is your "role" in your family?
the child you have before you decide "okay i'm done" and make an appointment to get tubes tied

Link | Leave a comment | Share